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This Aging Thing is for the Birds!

So, Instagram, Twitter, and the web in general is loaded with all kinds of people telling us that aging gracefully is the way to go.  And we should accept ourselves and love ourselves no matter what!  If YOU don't love yourself, why should anyone else?  Self-love, self-acceptance, self-care.  It's everywhere! Although I really, really want to grow old. . .I mean, age, gracefully, I've gotta tell you. . . . . . . .I am NOT loving this time of my life.  Well, not all of it anyway.

The truth is, there are some days that I look in the mirror and just want to cry and slump my shoulders and slink away.  I do NOT love the neck that's getting wrinkly and crepey.  I'm not in love with the crows feet and the sunken, black circled eyes.  I don't love the fact that I can't find any face makeup that works on my face anymore.  I don't CARE that I "earned" those wrinkles!  I mean, did I really earn those wrinkles???

I KNOW that it's shallow.  I KNOW that there are many, many, many other things going on in the world that are SO much more important.  I KNOW that I should just accept it.  I KNOW that what's on the inside is more important than what's on the outside.  And really, I don't think about how much I dislike my "new" face that often.  But, when I do see it and realize that it's changing, I'm just not happy about it. (Thankfully, I don't look in the mirror that often.)

Intellectually, I KNOW that all of those other things are more important, but emotionally, geez. . . . why can't everything just stay where it's supposed to be? I mean, what are these jowels supposed to be all about?   What are they trying to prove? Knowing that other things are more important still doesn't help me feel "okay" with all of these changes.  And I know that it's a privilege just to be alive and there are many things to celebrate. And truthfully, I love finding joy in the small things. . . . . . . . as long as those things are nowhere near my mirror. . . .

I see my young daughter, with nary a line or wrinkle on her, and see her vibrancy and excitement about everything and I know she has so many things to look forward to!  And I'm excited for her!  I just wonder if I squandered my own youth.  Luckily, every day is a new day and blah, blah, blah, blah.  There are enough other websites out there to tell you that stuff!

I just wanted to put it out there. . .  that, you know what???? If you're feeling this way, too, you're not alone.  I don't love aging.  There.  I said it.  And I don't love my skin now.  And I don't love my wrinkles.  I don't love what I look like in a tunic sweater. Maybe it's time to hide all of the mirrors and just go out "as-is."  Hahaha!  Like I would ever do that.  . . . . 😉 . . . . . . for more than a day.

Or, maybe it's just my hormones today.  Who knows???  Guess I should go find some positive affirmations to do.  Do you ever feel this way?

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